TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES: OUT OF THE SHADOWS

If you haven’t seen the first film in the reboot - please don't panic! Everything is explained multiple times throughout. If at any point you’re unsure of which Turtle’s gimmick they should be exploiting, someone will remind you who is "the leader" or "the brains". This is where I was confused, because it wasn’t clear who the target audience was. There was far to much swearing for it to be aimed at smaller children - and far too much cleavage. I get the feeling this is a tween boy's dream of a movie – one that can slip just under the radar of something your parents think you shouldn’t be watching. Either that or its for, like the audience of my screening, a bunch of guys in their mid-thirties reconnecting with their childhood. Not me before you say anything – I still haven’t reached that bracket on the census yet!

I seriously hope Megan Fox has been clever with her money and making some solid investments because once her go-to character of "hot babe in a live action remake of an 80s cartoon" no longer serves a function, I can’t really see her being particularly employable. Seriously, it’s like she's been paid to run and wear tight clothes... a role one can only dream of! Will Arnett’s comic potential is squandered, but is revealing in showing that all the characters were not deeply created. Poor Laura Linney, such amazing actresses wasted in a movie like this as the police chief. Jindabyne is but a distant glorious memory.

It’s a little confused as to what it actually is or who it is for, but 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows' is an action film that dads who grew up in the 80s can just get away with taking their newly-teenage children to. A fan service meeting an average film is probably enough of a combination for box office success, but maybe I’m just a disillusioned brain inside of a metal robot? Either way, I’m still not sure I know what a shell-shocker is - and it might be best that I don’t...