MARRIAGE STORY

Meanwhile, Charlie takes the much more conventional route through the five stages of grief, settling into each stage - denial is by far the longest, wearing his wedding ring much longer through the separation than Nicole does - while losing a bit of his dignity each time. By the time he is royally screwing up while having his relationship with his son assessed (one of the film's funniest and most horrifying scenes), Charlie is a man already defeated, numbed by his circumstances. It would be wrong to spoil the scene, but it involves an incredible metaphor for Charlie's temporary solutions to much more serious problems.

In fact, the symbolism in 'Marriage Story' is done excellently and primed for deep post-screening dissection. Whether it's a sliding gate with Nicole and Charlie on different sides, or a loud ticking clock while Charlie stresses over losing custody of their young son (Azhy Robertson), the film demands a maturity from its audience given its touchy subject matter, and rewards audiences with these little moments. Be sure to listen closely to the lyrics of a song Charlie belts in the film's final 20 minutes. It's a smart moment where a man so ruined by a divorce amplified by his own flaws and ego can only express his feelings without intense emotion when the words coming out of his mouth are someone else's.

This small moment of unintentional self-reflection on Charlie's part unfortunately speaks to my only problem with the film, and even though it's major, it's something I will be able to mostly ignore on a re-watch (and this film demands many). One of my major gripes with Baumbach's films is an unshakeable sense that, like Ari Aster, Baumbach is sitting behind each shot getting off on his own cleverness, and this has bled into his scripts to the point where I have actively eye-rolled through some of his filmography. The script for 'Marriage Story' is no exception to this, and despite how entertaining it is, Dern's monologue on the ridiculous (and very true) sentiments of men having it easier as parents just sounds like Baumbach sitting at his desk, patting his own back for how smart and woke the whole affair is. Just a few more moments of introspection would have done wonders; however, there are many moments that imagining the performances are mostly improv or, hell, that this is an actual divorce unfolding makes these moments feel much more organic. The fact that I had to do this doesn't derail the experience, but it is still unfortunate.

It should come as no surprise that 'Marriage Story' is both heartbreaking and hard to watch in equal measure. Of course, Nicole and Charlie's initial insistence on no lawyers to keep their separation friendly fails almost immediately, and one of the most painful moments in the film is a bitter court meeting where Nicole and Charlie's lawyers pass the point of no return (as indicated by the aforementioned sliding gate a scene earlier). The lowest of blows are exchanged, every little flaw blown way out of proportion to spite the other, and this bleeds into the microaggressions Nicole and Charlie adopt (watch the venom spit from Charlie's mouth when he implicates Nicole in potentially endangering their son at any moment he can). The scene this film will go down in history for, however, is their climactic argument that makes Jesse and Celine's row in 'Before Midnight' look like child's play. This is the culmination of every ugly thought they have ever had about each other, freed by the poison let out in the courtroom. This is the reality of loving and knowing someone all too well; for anyone in a relationship, it is a nightmare.

I wish so badly I could separate the art from the artist, and this is the only reason I cannot give 'Marriage Story' the five stars it actually deserves. My own issues with Baumbach aside, however, and it's shocking to me that a film so simple can be so nearly flawless (I mean this technically too; the film is shot, edited, paced and scored beautifully). Despite how much I cried, it finds beauty and comedy in the tiniest of moments. It's an ugly portrait of two flawed people and therefore never easy to watch, but it is one of the most rewarding experiences I have had with a film in years. I just hope I never have to experience it myself.