ACADEMY AWARDS 2013

It's finally here - the Academy Awards have arrived, with plenty of anticipation surrounding this year's Oscars. Keep up-to-date with the events as they happen with Jess' live updates throughout the ceremony.

4:00pm
And that's all folks. Until next year. I bid you adieu.

3:55pm
And the Oscar for BEST PICTURE goes to... 'ARGO'. Go Ben Affleck!! Suck it Academy.

Three sexiest producers alive.

Wow Ben Affleck can talk REALLY fast!

3:51pm
HERE COMES THE BIG ONE! And I'm not talking about Best Picture - Ladies and Gentleman Mr Jack Nicholson...

Holy Crap it's the FLOTUS! This is random.

3:50pm
After three times up on that stage Daniel is having some fun with his speech. I like it. Most people think he's too serious and cold. Well he showed you, he's just THAT good.

3:47pm
And the Oscar for BEST ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE goes to... Daniel Day-Lewis for 'Lincoln'

3:45pm
It's THE Meryl Streep. I feel like I should bow. Should I bow?

3:44pm
And the Oscar for BEST ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE goes to... Jennifer Lawrence for 'Silver Linings Playbook'

She's only 22! She just fell climbing the stairs! Hugh Jackman came to save her! She got a standing ovation!

3:41pm
Jean Dujardin - He speaks!!

3:35pm
And the Oscar for Best Director goes to... Ben Affleck!!

Just kidding. It's Ang Lee for 'Life of Pi'

3:30pm
Almost there guys. We're getting down to the nitty-gritty now.

3:29pm
Tarantino's last win was almost 20 years ago for 'Pulp Fiction'

3:27pm
And the Oscar for BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY goes to... Quentin Tarantino for 'Django Unchained'. What can I say; The man writes poetry and I like poetry.

3:25pm
And the Oscar for BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY goes to... 'Argo' - Chris Terrio. Oh yeah, there's no doubt in my mind this is going to win Best Picture.

3:16pm
And the Oscar for Best Original Song goes to.. 'Skyfall' - Adele Adkins and Paul Epworth. ADELE!!!!

3:10pm
And the Oscar for Best Original Score goes to... 'Life of Pi' - Michael Danna

3:08pm
Wow, has it really been 10 years since 'Chicago'?

3:01pm
The incomparable Barbra Streisand in a tribute to Marvin Hamlisch

2:57pm
In Memoriam...

2:50pm
Governors Awards re-cap... BORING!

2:48pm
And the Oscar for Achievement in Production Design goes to... 'Lincoln' - Rick Carter and Jim Erikson

2:47pm
Bella Swan and Harry Potter are on stage together. Is this allowed?Does this mean the world is going to implode or something?

2:43pm
And the Aussies continue to assert their presence - Nicole Kidman y'all.

2:36pm
Adele singing = Goosebumps

2:34pm
Adele is in the house. Everyone shhhhh she's about to sing! P.S. Could Jennifer Lawrence's dress be any bigger?

2:33pm
And the Oscar for Achievement in Editing goes to... 'Argo' - William Goldenberg. 'Argo' is soooooooo going to win Best Picture now.

2:31pm
It's Sandy B!

2:30pm
The obligatory speech by the Academy President... BORING!!!

2:22pm
And the Oscar for BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS goes to... Anne Hathaway for 'Les Miserables' - Gee, no-one saw that one coming. At least she didn't pretend to be shocked. Snaps!

2:19pm
After a 'Sound of Music' joke that falls a little flat Christopher Plumber has now taken the stage.

2:16pm
The SECOND Oscar for Best Sound Editing goes to... 'Skyfall'

2:14pm
And the Oscar for Best Sound Editing goes to... 'Zero Dark Thirty' AND ... No BS it's a tie.

2:12pm
And the Oscar for Achievement in Sound Mixing goes to... 'Les Miserables'

2:10pm
Marky Mark and some CGI are presenting the award for Sound Mixing and talking about orgies. Yep, sounds about right

2:09pm
Ha! The Scientific and Technical awards were presented by the stars of Star Trek. That's like nerd heaven.

2:01pm
It's Wolverine... I mean Hugh Jackman!!

2:00pm
Jennifer Hudson killed it once again singing 'You're Gonna Love Me'

1:56pm
Even after all that 'Les Miz' has done Catherine Zeta Jones still pulled a Beyonce.

1:53pm
It's Musical tribute time!!!

1:52pm
The live orchestra isn't in the Theatre - interesting.

1:51pm
And the Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film goes to... 'Amour' - Well duh, it's also up for Best Picture.

1:49pm
Something is coming out of Jennifer Garner's butt. Oh, that's just her dress. My bad.

1:44pm
And the Oscar for Best Documentary Feature goes to.. 'Searching For Sugar Man' - Now bring out Rodriguez!!

1:43pm
Ben Affleck presenting an award. Consolation prize? Well done Academy. Dumbass!

1:42pm
"150 years and it's still too soon?" - Classic!

1:38pm
Liam Neeson takes the stage. He has a very particular set of skills...

Oh look Kristen Stewart is in the audience, not smiling. Shocking!

1:35pm
And the Oscar for Best Documentary Short goes to... 'Inocente'

1:33pm
And the Oscar for Best Live Action Short goes to... 'Curfew'

1:32pm
Django and Broomhilda together again!

1:31pm
I hear that 'Lawrence of Arabia' music and I just think 'Spaceballs'. Is it just me?

1:24pm
Shirley Bassey - that's more like it. This woman is 76-years-old and still got it.

1:22pm
50 Years of James Bond presented by Halle Berry. Really? You could have gotten anyone, anyone at all.

1:20pm
And the Oscar to Achievement is Makeup and Hairstyling goes to... 'Les Miserables'. Someone actually just won an Oscar for hacking off Anne Hathaway's hair. Nice!

1:17pm
And the Oscar for Achievement in Costume Design goes to.. 'Anna Karenina' - Jacqueline Durran

1:16pm
That's pretty funny, a man famous for taking off his costumes or not wearing anything at all is presenting the award for Costume design.

1:12pm
'Jaws' as the play off music. It's a bit ruff but funny as hell.

1:09pm
And the Oscar for Achievement in Visual Effects goes to... 'Life of Pi' - Too right, that Tiger was amazing. Go Richard Parker!

1:06pm
And the Oscar for Achievement in Cinematography goes to... 'Life of Pi' - Claudio Miranda. That's some goooooooooood hair.

1:05pm
Avengers assemble!!!

1:02pm
Well I'm confused. Didn't Reese just introduce 'Beasts of the Southern Wild'? Is this an oppsy or not?

1:00pm
And the Oscar for best Animated Feature goes to 'Brave. Alright then. No nomination for Ben Affleck but the most panned Pixar film wins an Oscar. Go figure.

12:58pm
And the Oscar for Best Animated Short goes to 'Paperman'. Way to go Disney, you're simply the best.

12:57pm
...Or not.

12:56pm
Paul Rudd and Melissa McCarthy hit the stage. Here come the laughs.

12:50pm
And the Oscar for BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR goes to... Christoph Waltz for 'Django Unchained'. Absolutely amazing. Totally deserved and of course, I picked it.

12:45pm
That flying nun just made out with the flying nun. That's so meta.

12:42pm
Harry Potter and the long haired kid from 'Third Rock from the Sun' and now singing. Interesting combo and yet they're pulling it off.

12:40pm
Channing and Charlize killing it! Now THAT is dancing with the stars.

12:38pm
"We saw your boobs" - Best opening song ever! It's funny coz it's true.

12:35pm
Shatner's in the house!

12:33pm
Seth's right, what did happen to Jean Dujardin?

This year's Oscars theme: Musical Cinema. Bring on Les Mis, Barbra and J-Hud!

12:31pm
Wow, that stage looks amazing. And here comes your host for the evening, Seth McFarlane.

12:30pm
And here. we. go.

12:20pm
10 minutes!!

11:15am
1 hour and 15 minutes until Showtime!!